


Hey, Don't I Know You?

by Psyduck



Category: Captain America (Movies), Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America/Fantastic Four, Chris Evans is Everyone, Gen, doppleganger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psyduck/pseuds/Psyduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain America and the Human Torch look suspiciously similar...</p>
<p>Basically my take on what would happen if Chris Evans's Human Torch met Captain America</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fic, so any suggestions are welcome. There is an upsettingly small number of Cap/FF crossover fics, so I decided to remedy that situation

“He looks NOTHING like me Sue.” Johnny yelled as he stormed into the room.

There was almost always at least one heated debate raging in the Baxter Building. Today was no different.

Sue Storm followed close behind. “Are you blind? Is the heat affecting your vision? HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU.”

She held up the two magazines side by side. On the left was Johnny Storm’s first appearance on Rolling Stone. Shirtless, abs steaming, and holding a flame on his index finger, it was typical Johnny. On the right, Captain America on the cover of Time wearing his famous 1940s uniform, his eyes gazed downwards, holding a battered shield.

“How the fuck do you not see the resemblance?”

“Easy! He’s not nearly as handsome as me.”

Sue rolled her eyes.

“That is no way to settle a debate. You’re more handsome than he is? Come on. I know you got kicked out of NASA, but even you should know that shit won’t win you any legitimate support.”

“Says you. I’m more handsome than Captain America and everyone knows it. End of story. Besides, let’s see Captain America top People’s Sexiest Man Alive list three years in a row.”

Sue sighed, “Making it on the list doesn’t mean you ‘topped it’. Besides, Captain America was supposed to be dead until a few years ago. The day after his walk through Time Square, People magazine featured him in an article titled ‘America’s Sexiest Man Over 80’.”

Johnny scoffed, “Well yeah, over 80.”

“The next day, Buzzfeed, Cracked, ClickHole AND Reddit all created posts questioning whether you two were the same person.”

“Psh the Internet posts bullshit all the time.”

“THE NEW YORK POST RAN AN OP ED ABOUT IT LAST WEEK.” Sue yelled. “The only reason people don’t think you’re the same person is because you were at the X-Games during the Chitauri attack.”

“Are you guys still arguing about this.” Ben growled from the couch

“Oh come on Ben,” Sue said, exasperated. “Tell me you don’t see the resemblance.”

Ben looked up at Johnny. “Sorry pal, he does look a hell of a lot like you. Looks a bit less like a narcissistic douche though if ya ask me.”

“HEY!” Johnny objected. “How is it my fault that I am such a devilishly handsome gentleman who has had excellent luck with the ladies?”

“ _Exactly_.” Ben said, returning to his newspaper.

Sue sighed, “Look, if Reed were here, he’d say the same thing. Unfortunately, his date with Tony couldn’t wait. Seems as if he’s been hitting golf balls at our roof again. I mean honestly, just because we block his perfect view doesn’t mean he gets to be a total tool. This building was here way before Stark Industries built that monstrosity.”

“Hey now,” Ben interjected. “That building is a modern marvel. You seen what that puppy runs on?”

Sue sighed, “Yes, it’s a modern marvel. Honestly, I just wish he’d have us over to one of his ‘happy hours’. He invites every other god damn hero in New York.”

“Correction.” Johnny exclaimed. “He has, so far, not invited the devil of Hell’s Kitchen nor that spider kid.”

Ben looked up from his paper “To be fair, the ‘Devil of Hell’s Kitchen’s’ identity is still a mystery and SpiderMan is wayyy under the legal drinking age. I don’t think he’s even out of high school.”

“Exactly my point! I want an invitation!” Sue yelled.

“Wait wait wait, what if Steve Rogers is the devil? How badass would that be?” Johnny mused.

“The man has a point, Sue. I mean, they’re physiques are very similar. Besides, maybe the Captain has a thing for vigilante justice.”

“Well, I suppose it is possible,” thought Sue. She shook her head. “Stop getting me off topic! Steve looks weirdly like you and that’s that. I should know. I’ve watched your dumb ass grow up.”

“HEY! WHO YOU CALLIN DUMB?”

“What are you two yelling about _now_?” Reed yelled as he stepped off the elevator. He extended his head in to the room.

“Well SOMEONE won’t get their head out of their ass and admit that they are wrong.”

Johnny interjected, “I was about to say the same thing. Steve Rodgers and I couldn’t look more different.”

“SAYS WHO? YOU?”

Reed blushed, “Well you two better quit it, _we have a guest_.”

“Reed, you’ve gotta tell me how you found this much space in the middle of Manhattan. Gosh, it must have cost you a fortune.”

Steve Rogers walked into the room.

Ben chuckled “Speaking of the Captain…”

“Hello! Welcome to our lab! I'm Sue” Sue walked over and extended her arm to the newcomer.

“Well thank you ma’am.” He took her hand and looked over at the couch. “ You must be Ben.”

“Hiya pal! How’s it lookin’ at a real fossil.”

Steve smiled and looked over at Johnny.

“And you must be Johnny. It’s nice to finally meet the reason I keep getting slapped all over Manhattan. You have an even worse reputation than Tony, and that’s saying something.”

Johnny looked at Steve skeptically.

Steve raised his arms. “Hey, don’t look at me. I personally don’t see the resemblance, but that’s the public for ya.”

“I know! How come TMZ keeps showing footage of me leaving that old folks home?”

“Same reason they show me snowboarding in the Alps. I didn’t even know snowboarding existed until Peg told me she saw me doin’ it on TV.”

Johnny smiled. “For what it’s worth, I’ve gotta say, I love your Harley. That thing’s vintage right.”

“You bet. Same one I rode in the war.”

Johnny moved closer to Steve, “That thing still runs? Man, if I could get one of my bikes to last a year, it’d be a miracle.”

“Well maybe if you didn’t light them all on fire or crash them into a dirt pile they wouldn’t die,” Sue muttered into Johnny’s ear as she went to greet Reed.

Johnny glared at his sister.

Steve continued, “Yeah, well they sure don’t make ‘em like they used to. Say, I wanted to ask you about that sport, motocross?”

“You watch?”

They began to talk animatedly in the corner of the room. Sue and Reed moved to sit next to Ben on the couch. They watched as Johnny pulled out his phone and showed Steve footage of his latest stunts.

Reed leaned over and whispered, “ _I can’t tell them apart. Look, they’re both wearing leather jackets._ ”

“ _They even wear the same brand of jeans._ ” Ben commented.

“ _How the fuck do they not see the resemblance._ ” Sue questioned.

They all stared. Sue finally took out her phone and snapped a picture. _Wait until Twitter sees this._


	2. So a Super Soldier and a Hothead Walk Into a Bar...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Steve and Johnny's bi-weekly hangout session, and they've brought along a few friends.
> 
> Part 2 of Hey, Don't I Know You? aka the inevitable mash up of Chris Evans's Johnny Storm and Steve Rogers.
> 
> Time period is unspecified post Captain America: Winter Soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for a second chapter. As always, suggestions are welcome. Hope y'all enjoy!

"So you're telling me ya actually can't get drunk? " Johnny asked incredulously, taking another swig of beer.

"Yup. Side effect of the serum. Last time I got drunk was…April 4th, 1942," replied Steve.

It was their bi-weekly hangout session, and, as always, they'd gone to their favorite bar in the City. Too sporty for hipsters, too grungy for tourists, it was the perfect place to hang out and, more importantly, not get noticed. Steve loved it because it reminded him of the pubs he visited in London during the war. Johnny loved it for the ladies who'd come in from the nearby yoga studio. Plus, the bartender stocked plenty of Ben-sized glasses - always a perk when one of your partners in crime is six feet tall and made of nothing but rock. The bartender always kept a few tables open in the back for them on Thursdays; Ben's alcohol intake alone was enough to justify the reservation.

"Ya sure about that? How hard have ya tried?" Graveled Ben.

Clint smirked, clapping a hand on Steve's back, "Trust me, we've tried. Even got him to drink a mason jar of the stuff my cousin makes in his basement. Guy's a tank." He threw his last dart. Bullseye. Again.

Johnny liked Clint. He was always down for a good time when he was in town, even if he was annoyingly good at darts. Besides, when he got loaded, he'd tell stories from his past as a circus performer and, if he was really loaded, he might even talk about his run-ins with the law.

"That's a damn shame." Ben said, answering Clint's bullseye with a ten. "Crap." He still hadn't perfected his throw post-accident, but it was getting better. The last time he played, all his darts went into the ceiling.

"I've really gotta figure out another game to play with you." Johnny muttered, sending another dart into the board, its fletching smoking just slightly.

"Your fault. I didn't pick the game." Clint shrugged as he walked up to grab the darts from the board. He took Johnny's off last, using his shirt to yank them free. "Man, you've gotta stop charring the hell outta these darts. Sooner or later, you'll set the whole board on fire."

"Who says it hasn't happened already." Ben said, motioning to the charred circle behind the jukebox.

"Hey come on that was one time." Johnny retorted.

Steve laughed, "Remind me never to let you get your hands on the ones in Stark Tower. Tony has 'em wired up to Jarvis so he can calculate each player's chance of getting a bullseye."

"Mine's always 100%" Clint smiled.

"OH SO YOU'RE CHEATING!" Johnny accused.

"Absolutely not! Since when was practicing cheating?" Clint questioned.

"Uh, since forever. You already have an advantage Robin Hood, you just need to beat us a little more soundly?" Johnny teased, punching him in the arm.

"Give the guy a break Johnny. Man's gotta keep his one super skill up to snuff." Ben said.

"Okay, first off archery is totally different from darts, and second, I have plenty of other skills. Ever heard of the New Orleans incident?" Clint said defensively as he massaged his bruised bicep.

"Not when you're sober." Steve said under his breath. Johnny chuckled.

"I heard that!" Clint pointed accusingly. "The point is that you don't work for SHIELD without acquiring a few…skills."

"You sure that was SHIELD? Because I'm pretty sure that's your carnie past rearing its ugly head. Or maybe it's something you learned as Iowa's most notorious cat burglar?" Natasha said casually as she sauntered up to the group.

"Ooooooh so you're a cornhusker," Ben said in between swigs of beer. "Makes so much sense now."

"Seriously? Iowa is the Hawkeyes. Hawkeyes. How does no one see the connection? And what's wrong with Iowa?" Clint questioned as he got up to greet Natasha. He motioned for the bartender to fix her a drink. Nat didn't make a habit of getting together with anyone in bars - too many dark corners and exits to cover at once. It's not that she couldn't handle it, but it didn't exactly make for a relaxing evening. She did, however, make an exception for this group. The night usually ended with either a hair-brained scheme or a bloody nose, and she always loved hearing the boys talk up their various achievements, impressive or not.

"Oh nothing! There is absolutely nothing wrong with Iowa. Its just…Iowa." Johnny said with a chuckle. He tried to catch Natasha's eye and flash a smile but, as always, Nat was not interested. Steve had told him dozens of times that she was both not his type and way out of his league, but that didn't stop him from trying, even after she told him that he looked like a skinnier, douchier version of the good Captain himself.

Clint held up his hands "Oh, okay, sure, go ahead. Make fun of the nation's breadbasket. At least I don't switch places with America's golden boy to play pranks on the God of Thunder."

Natasha raised her eyebrow "When were you going to tell me about this? And why wasn't I there to see it."

Steve laughed "Oh man Nat, you should have seen his face."

" **WHAT IS THIS SORCERY? HATH LOKI SHOWN YOU HIS ABILITIES**?" Johnny yelled, butchering Thor's accent. " **YOU WERE IN THE SHIP AND NOW YOU ARE HERE.** Man, we've gotta do that again. Still haven’t recovered from the shiner he gave me though." His hand went instinctively to his jaw.

Nat smirked. "Serves you right. At least you didn't set yourself on fire. He might have thought you were from Muspelheim ." 

"Bless you." said Steve instinctively.

Natasha sighed, "No Muspelheim. One of the nine realms? Home of the fire demons? Does no one read the briefings Jarvis makes us?"

"nerd." Clint muttered as he brought Natasha her drink. Nat took the glass and promptly punched him in the side. "I probably deserved that," Clint wheezed.

"Yes you did," said Nat hitting him again.

"Wait, are you tellin' me fire demons are real?" Ben asked.

"Quite a nasty bunch," Nat said, taking a swig from her whiskey. "Fierce warriors, egotistical too. You'd fit right in, fire boy."

"Didja hear that Johnny? Maybe you're not such a freak after all." Ben laughed.

Johnny turned to Ben. "Oh, okay talk all ya want, ya walking boulder. At least I don't punch holes in the wall swatting a fly."

"THAT WAS ONE TIME."

"Tell that to Reed and his lab. Place looked like a slice of swiss cheese when ya finally gave up. Ya didn't even hit it! I mean come on!"

Steve laughed as he went up to the bar. His regular order was already waiting for him: a pint of beer and a ten-gallon bucket of ice water. The bartender nodded and motioned to the fire extinguisher near his feet. Steve smiled. He hadn't needed it the past few weeks, but the night was young and he could smell Johnny's ears smoking already.  _This could get interesting._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint Barton's characterization is part MCU Clint and part Fraction comics Clint. 
> 
> April 4, 1942 is the closest approximation I could get to when Bucky shipped out, so that explains why the date is so specific. 
> 
> If you've got any other ideas as to where these two might go/what they might do, let me know in the comments. Who knows? Maybe next time Johnny will convince Steve to go to a club...


End file.
